Struggle

Shalom,

Sometime God allow me to walking alone, being alone facing the obstacle just to make me realize that God can use the difficulty to show  His power. As human being, im weak, not rare im complain, im saying.. God, why this happend to me, im asking God in my prayer, this burden you give me is not suit with my age, hehe..i mean im still young, i need someone to be there with me, to give me some advice so i know, this is normal for my ages, and yes, God doesnt allow me to be alone, He sent me some kind heart people, giving me advise, i remember the early on my struggle, Kak Sherly came to me, she give me advise, and when we were talking, both having tears on eyes, ehhhh -___-

 im told her what my current struggle and we almost have same struggle, when im listen what she told me, i couldn’t believe, because everyday i meet her, and  physical she is ok all the time, but im wrong, some people just are good at hide the tear, the weakness, the problem, Im learning from that, is ok to having battle with my own self, but makesure what people see from my physical is im fine, but ngeaakkk, im a weak lady (im no longer a girl, right? *__*)

im not trying to pretending being strong, but i had to, the time im going to give up, the questions i got in my mind is, what the point having God if you give up? Im said everytime, God is my hero, wont letting me fall, God is watching me, God is be with me, but when he give me “duty”, im crying, im mengeluh, merontah.

 Where is your faith? Your Hope? I m questions that, and im shy!! Im become hopeless (◕︵◕)

But, i have faith, i’m strong believe that my life storm just for while la, been struggle for almost 5 months, my physical drop, some people around me notice that im lose weight,

They asking me, whether i’m sick, i had meet with my old friend yesterday, we are close before ^^, he asking me, why are u so thin right now, San? Jleebb...

Another words that i heard is, My face isnt like my age, ekk..ekk..ekkkk!! ok, let said in bahasa, Susan tua skali.. hahaha, im no longer young la, memang pun im 26th hihiii

But i think these words she shouldnt said, right? Sakit hati hayati bang #Giggle giggle :D

When i heard that, i Wass Anjas, #oppa aku dah tua ya?  He answering me, #napa ngomong gitu, kalo tua itu yang umur 30 taun yank. I also asking Prima, Jefry,  just to know la, im the one who reject the truth, that im old or... hhe.. heee

Saja mau nanya! Their answer are, no la, u still young. Ehh??

Im pretty shock when i heard this words.  Its not matter actually, saya tua atau muda, just dont you think it is a negative words that u souldnt said, iya bukan?

So, the lesson i earn from my struggle are (◕‿-)

Nobody you cant trust in this world, oneday everyone going to dissapoint you!

Never close with someone, just a little change it really hurt...

Never ever said you are weak, hyy be strong, there is no guarante that every battle you have there will be someone for you.

Above all, never lost faith, believe, and pray, putting everything in God hand.

God know well when the perfect time to test you, lifting up you and give you reward, Percayalah, Tuhan pasti sanggup! Miracle still happend those day lho!

Now, i can said this battle was over, God help me, and there is miracle happend, woooo!! Tuhan, you are so amazing, saya terkagum tercengang dan takjub, what You done in my life is incredible, unexpecting! Badai pasti berlalu ya  (✿ ♥‿♥)

                                                                                                                       Ajaib Kau Tuhan,

                                                                                                                      Sanggup pulihkan keadaanku

Happy Sunday,

God bless

San,